Fabled Apteryx (dakiwiboid) wrote in selfinthemirror,
Fabled Apteryx
dakiwiboid
selfinthemirror

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Just realised something

I hate it when someone says, in reference to my weight loss, "You're so skinny now". I'm not skinny. I wear a size 12, not some itsy-bitsy size. I'm just barely inside the "normal" BMI for the first time in about 10 years. I know that the people who are saying this mean it as a compliment, but it squicks me. I get flashbacks to the years when I weighed 105 (at 5'7") through no will of my own, and really was skinny! Why can't they just say that I look nice?
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  • 5 comments
I've lost about 35 pounds and people make comments like that and I have the same reaction. Only in my case, I'm not even quite at a normal weight yet! I mean, I'm still wearing plus sizes, even if they are at the low end of the range of plus sizes....but, even when I know people mean well by it, it still squicks me.

Yes, why can't people just say we look nice?
People think "skinny" is a compliment instead of a somewhat neutral size statement.
I'd much rather be told that the weight loss looks good and that I look healthy than that I look skinny.
YOu look nice. YOu really do.

I went through something similar when I lost weight. My bf kept telling me how tiny I was, and I had a really negative reaction. Tiny to me means frail and insubstantial. It defines someone as weak instead of strong, and I felt I was the opposite. I ended up talking to him about it, and while he didn't understand why it bothered me he uses different language now.

I think a lot of people want to reassure you that the work you have done to lose weight has paid off, they don't understand that to many of us the word skinny means Kate Moss, or someone who is really underweight.